I just wrote this song to get laid

Because before I played punk, no one paid attention to me-eee

And what’s the point in playing music if it doesn’t get you chicks

And remember the vaguer the lyrics, the bigger the audience

Girls will love this song because I sound like I am what they want

Guys will love this shit coz they can play for girls they wanna sleep with

Your eyes are like the stars, or the moon, or running water

Or whatever will get you in my bed later

And maybe I’m at my best when you are with me

So let me get your number

I’m so interesting indeed

I let my hair grow out and my clothes are gross as shit

But I am not a burnout I’m just hippie vintage

Covered my body in really cool tattoos

So I’ll never have a good job, but now I can sleep with you

And on your bedroom floor I wanna see my band’s t-shirt

And I’ll smile to myself because you should’ve known!

That musicians are perverts

Musicians are perverts

Musicians are just fucking perverts

If you wanna be an artist, don’t be too brutally honest

Coz we all just wanna hear a love song, even if it’s bullshit

If you want the big gigs and to sleep with lots of women

All you’ve got to do is change your self image

Now I’m looking in the mirror telling myself

Don’t be yourself

Don’t be yourself

Don’t be yourself

Don’t be yourself

Don’t be yourself

Don’t be yourself

Don’t be yourself

Don’t be yourself, don’t be yourself